Alternative to Gay Marriage

President Bush and the Pope John Paul II both came out with strong statements opposing the concept of "gay marriage". I can understand people who insist that marriage is "a union between a man and a woman". I propose this alternative.

Frob

1. (n) A civil union between persons other than those consisting of one man and one woman. 2. (v) to enter into a civil union between persons other than those consisting of one man and one woman.

A new word simplifies things enormously (and makes it unnecessary for SOMEBODY to wear a wedding dress!). Now with that out of the way, we need additional terminology:

Frob'-nik

(n) A participant in a frob.

De-frob'

(n) To dissolve a frob under law.

Frob'-bing (n)

A ceremony celebrating the creation of a frob.

Fro-bit'-sa (n) [rhymes with pizza]

An attendant at a frobbing.

With terminology in place, we can discuss things rationally without the emotionally charged words like "marriage". And it is all so simple--just right-click and select "add to dictionary".

Gay and lesbian persons would gain the advantage of equal protection under the laws afforded to civil unions, whether marriage or frob. Children will no longer have to use awkward or inaccurate language to describe their parent's relationship.

Questionnaire example:

Civil Status:

• Single
• Married
• Frobbed
• Divorced
• Defrobbed
• Widowed

Some frobniks may insist that a frob be limited to civil unions of two persons. If such feelings are strong additional terminology could be put in place, such as frob a trois or, borrowing a word from Russian, troika.

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